James (age 7): **** 4 stars. "I liked the crashes and I liked the car smash when they were going to bomb the cars with other cars."
Jupiter (age 5): ** 2 stars. "Next time can we see a dog movie?"
Justice (age 3): asleep ten minutes into the movie.
Grandma Pat: * 1/2 stars. "One thousand percent predictable, the actors were not very attractive or charming but you couldn't help but root for the car. So formulaic, it was almost unbearable. Maybe it's a one and a half. No imagination. What was Disney thinking? I don't think kids need to be exposed to formulaic movies. I think they can handle the creativity."
Adam: ** 1/2 Two-and-a-half stars. "I don't know if I'm qualified (to rate the movie) since I missed the whole first street race. (napping) The plot did hum along nicely even though I didn't know who was whom. It was your typical Disney kitchen sink movie, made by committee. What do we have the rights to--that we don't have to aquire. Who do we have under contract, even a has-been like Michael Keaton. Lo-and-behold Matt Dillon owes us one. His agent tries to break it ten times--but no deal. Fill in the holes with nobodies for cheap labor. We'll make a female lead so it'll appeal to moms, but we'll make her inept so it doesn't threaten men. Spread sheets say, even if it goes straight to DVD in America, it'll be a hit in the Phillipines, the Yucatan Peninsula and Liberia. The Ukraine is touch-and-go--in the end it earns out. Lindsay Lohan has charm and her chest enthralled me. I liked the way they kind of hid it..."
(at this point I informed Adam about some claims I've read on several websites and in a few magazines, about the nature of Lindsay Lohan's chest...)
Adam: "Okay, now that I know her chest isn't real, that hits it hard.
Matt Dillon, though, was a good villain. You can tell he enjoyed it. Dangle (Thomas Lennon from Reno 911 ) was good every minute they gave him, and they didn't employ him enough. I didn't hate it and it wasn't completely boring. The missing half hour--the part that I slept through, I'm going to assume that some of the movie's charisma resided there.
Mama: *** I give this three stars because there was no pain involved for me. There was a tedious quality to watching new characters come to accept that Herbie is sentient--it seems like we could just skip that step at this point. But I liked Cheryl Hines and Thomas Lennon who should have had been given bigger roles, once the committee who wrote the script realized what comic talent had been cast. And I must admit, part of what kept me from being bored was watching Lindsay Lohan. Adam's right, it was nearly impossible to keep from looking at those breasts of hers, hanging off her wisp of a figure. I can't help but like her. She has an endearing everygirl quality in her movies, even when she's phoning it in.
