Aladdin *** 1/2

James: ***** (e-billion stars.) You know what? I loved it more than....Journey to the Center of the Earth. I LOVED it. You know what my favorite part was? The snake. I liked the whole movie.

Jupiter: ***** (81 stars) I don't know.

Justice ***** (Google stars.) I liked the snake. That's my favorite part.

Mama: ** At the news that Aladdin was going to be our movie night movie, James burst in to tears. In Amoeba Records, he proclaimed to Adam, with outrage and anger, that he knew Aladdin was going to be a one-star movie, that he didn't want to watch a movie about Princesses! He was sullen the rest of the evening, and only settled into his bathrobe and movie-watching chair with great reluctance. Sure enough, though Princess Jasmine has been hyper-marketed to girls, there was lots of lava, daggers, sabres, and then the finale--with a monstrous giant fang-filled snake. He cried at the end of the evening as well, wanting to watch the movie again, right then and there, at bed time.
Here follows my diatribe about Disney Princesses:
Jupiter loved the movie, but oddly had nothing to say about Princess Jasmine's amazing locks.
Anyone with a four-year-old girl has experienced the Princess thing, the phenomena by which, no matter how many girl wizards, girl explorers, girl construction workers or girl super heroes a girl is exposed to she winds up longing to be a princess. The most common grouping is most often the classics: the insipid Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. In the latter part of the 20th century, Disney proudly added Ariel the Mermaid, who even in her ocean homeland needs to be saved by a human male. Finally paying attention to a few cultural signals Disney came up with Belle, who at least was smart and opinionated. Then there are the two multi-cultural princesses, Mulan and Princess Jasmine. Rarely do you see Mulan (the Princess who kicks the most butt) with the others--I haven't seen Mulan II so maybe she doesn't actually marry the Emperor's son, thus ruining her princess status. But that's for another post. It's Jasmine I'll talk about here.
Jasmine, with her long flowing black hair, has long entranced Jupiter, and we've owned puzzles and books about Jasmine long before Jupiter ever saw the movie Aladdin. Disney tries to do spunk with Jasmine, but can't quite pull it off. Her huge rebellion is not wanting to marry a boorish, pompous prince and then sneaking out of the castle. Aladdin saves Jasmine a couple of times, and the most she can muster to help him, is batting her eyelashes at the evil sorcerer to distract him. She is no Kim Possible.
In 1937, Snow White sang "Someday my Prince will come." I see no true evolution in Jasmine, who was made fifty-five years later.
Watching Aladdin was tolerable--not painful like The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, but it was no pleasure, like watching Shrek. Now that was a Princess.

Popi: ** I'd never seen this Disney before. I think its newness made it watchable for me. Aladdin showcases Robin Williams and Bobcat Goldthwait and they aren't my favorite things to archive from the 90's. Stephanie pointed out that this was the nadir of the Disney formula. I don't know what to say. God, it's just a Disney movie. I feel like I've seen the same--you change it from a mermaid to a lion to a sultan. Throw in the same Broadway musical numbers. Before I'd thought The Little Mermaid was culturally insensitive to aquatic life. The art is lavish. The storyline is tight. But, there's a reason the Disney formula isn't being made anymore. There's a reason Pixar came along and stole its audience--because Disney went to the well with the same formula one to many times. I'd take a well-written story over the Disney Magic any day.